All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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