If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
