I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Randomize
