There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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