Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
