plz talk dirty to me
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
