I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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