i was rollin on her like bob the builder
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
