Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
