you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
