No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
wakey wakey hands off snakey
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
No subtext here. People are naked.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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