Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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