is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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