dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He passed out mid-signature
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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