literally had 100 drinks last night.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
