Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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