Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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