nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
