I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
