never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
