Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
