Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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