New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
