We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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