highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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