On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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