i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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