This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
