the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
