i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
