apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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