ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
