I am spending my child support on dildos
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
