That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
