she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Acid is not a monday night drug
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
