school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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