watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
