Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
only if we run a train.
done.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
