I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
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