look no pants
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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