You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
