she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
