I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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