Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
