HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
