i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
