Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
her vagine was all disorganized.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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