Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
