just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
