What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
