i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
